Fishie Enough

In the midst of this blissful holiday, i spend my time watching cd's i haven't been able to watch before, when i was doing my practical.
i haven't finish watching taiwan's drama "wish to see you again" acted by my favourite taiwan's guy, Vic Zhou. i only watch a few episode and my thought was "ape punye merepek cite ni? ape pun x faham!"

so i decided to re-watch my favorite Korean drama of all time, my sassy girl Chun Yang. before this, i didn't really put to much feelings while watching since Chunyang beautiness overshadowed everything else but just now, i watch episode 16 and i realize how Chun yang and i got thing in common.
we don't express our feelings and like to keep it inside. she the reflection of my personality and honestly, i understand my stands better, that i can't express myself freely when dealing with human, men's feelings.

Choon yang was contemplating, she don't want to answer him but she gained the courage to lie to him, saying that he doesn't love him anymore, that she was over him when the truth was she was still in love with him. she lied because she was afraid to hear that he was over her too, because when they were married, he likes his senior so she had gave up on him to let him find his true love. she loved him all these time and moon ryoong was so stupid not to realize it.

i think if that situation ever happen to me, i would do the same. i'd rather gave up my own feelings than seeing confuse with his own feelings. at least, if i let him go, then he can be sure the one that he wants is not me. heartbroken? i know i can deal with it insya-Allah. i don't want to be the second choice, if the guy wants me, i want him to be sure that i am the only one that he wants, if he is confuse, then the tendency for him to cheat on me is high.

i don't want a cheater as my life partner when i am damn faithful.

people might see me as a happy go lucky person, the kind that open up and tell her stories.
the truth is, i am not that open. i have a lot of things that i kept inside.
i am not bubbly by nature,
i pretended to be.