Fishie Enough

I feel restless today.
today, for everything that i pray for,
for everything that i wished for,
for everything that i hoped for,
has been blown away,
blown away by a soft wind.

I might be wrong and i might read too much between the line but i think Taeyeon and Junsu has officially broke up. (but on the back of my mind, i try to deny this!)
i don't even know where i should let go of this frustation.'of course it's not my bussiness to begin with but i am a fan of Taengoo umma.
why do i sad they broke up?
read the translation of her chin chin diary entry as provided by cathode @ soshified.com/ forums. read it here

January 10th, 2009.
It's been already 9months since I became a DJ.I think I've been a celebrity
for a year and a half? Also, our SNSD's mini album began today. As time passes
by, I wonder if I'm changing or not. And I wonder if I'm developing as a better
person or not. I've been thinking a lot about these things. I didn't expect some things to be this difficult and complicated ...I thought about why I was so stressed about those things. However, the answer was simple.Because I like what I'm doing. Because I want to do it.Unfortunately, there can be troubles when I'm happy. This happens in corporate life and when you're with new people... know that these are part of the social life but... I have no idea what I should do...
Even adults have difficult time dealing with the social life. Social life is a
big burden for a twenty year old, me. It's not like we are machines, we are
people.I don't understand why people don't have flexibility and why they are so cold to each other.Moreover, they say they are the best and boasts...I also don't understand how there are so many misunderstandings between people. Sigh..it seems my diary became dirty. I don't mind speculations but I hope people don't jump into conclusions. Please...come on! Please!I hope I'm more honest. Finally, today, I have lost an important person, whom I love.

I kew TaeSu are or were real.
but i want them to be together.
i am stupid for this.
what wistful thinking of them breaking up.

if i read and interpret the highlighted part
Why they are so cold to each other - she might have or face other problem but it might means she felt sad of how she was being treated. Junsu was so cold, he act like he never knew her when they share the stage together. he might be upset but damn he was cold. PMS Junsu?

and i would like to empahsize on the last part, she lost someone she love. what was that?
no death occured i can confirm that, otherwise the comeback stage will not happen. she is sad, so sad in her diary this time. if i examine her facial expresion during the comeback stage, she look not as lively as before. mature? no i don't think so. maybe because i am more to Taeyeon so every movement of her i would watch more closely then ever.

i could feel different vibe when i watch kissing you performance and Gee performance. and i could tell her voice was a bit distracted in Gee, not the best though it might sounds okay to other's ear but i know it was not the best, not as good as ussual.

it sounds broken... waiting to shutter into pieces.

She should be happy, supposed to be happy because the day this entry was recorded, it was the same day with her comeback stage.

she should be happy knowing 1000 of s♥ne turned out but she was sad over a speculation.
she should have mentioned how delighted she was knowing all 9 of them are sharing the same stage again but she was mourning over social life.

she should feel wonderful "gee" was a hit but all she mentioned was about she lost someone whom she love.

don't tell me it's happening.
i just watch hollywood ball fancam, the one where Junsu seems like he can't take his eyes off her.

he used to but not anymore.
now he didn't even looked at her.
yes, because of stupid speculation.
Idol... aah it's hard.



all i want is for Donghae to have Yoona girlfriend and be happy

sorry, useless entry.
yet again.